Discouragement, encouragement, and Workout Wednesday – Week 2

I had a follow-up appointment with my endocrinologist Monday morning, and like usual, it was a disappointing waste of my $35 co-pay. I keep gaining weight (as you all know) even though my diet hasn’t been horrible. Losing weight is a huge, let me repeat HUGE struggle. I eat right, workout, and do all the “right things,” yet my weight has been stuck at this point for a year. My symptoms have been getting worse: irregular periods, my hair falling out, hair growing in places it shouldn’t, etc. Last summer my Dr. put me on birth control to see if that would help. I ended up gaining 15 pounds in 3 months, never had my period the week I wasn’t taking the pill, bled almost constantly the other three weeks, and felt altogether miserable. Those 15 pounds I gained have yet to come off. Every time I have tried, I lose only a few pounds before hitting a plateau. I then give up and gain those pounds back.  I’m stuck in the cycle of, “Are my symptoms worse because of my weight, or is my weight another symptom of the PCOS not responding to treatment.”

My doctor wants me to go on a Protein Sparing Modified Fast (PSMF) and check back in after three months. I was asking her what difference meal replacements would do at this point, since I’ve been doing well monitoring my calorie and carb intake on my own. The simple answer is, she doesn’t believe I’ve been eating low carb. She specifically said, “low carb means no toast, no potatoes, no…” at which point I said, “fruit, corn, carrots, rice, beans, etc.” I told her I know all that. I don’t eat carbs and I’m not losing weight. I told her how difficult it is for my body to go into ketosis, to the point that I become a zombie for a few days before my body decides it might try burning fat for fuel, and that if I don’t eat enough fat, my sweat smells strongly of ammonia, a sign that I’m breaking down my muscle for fuel. She basically said that sounds very unusual so she wants me to do the PSMF just to be sure I’m not cheating. (bleck).

Her aim is for me to lose 20 pounds.

I would LOVE to lose 20 pounds.

Heck, I would love to lose 5 pounds!

*frustrated stomping around because of a naturally skinny doctor who has no idea how hard losing weight actually is*

Can any of you out there in cyberspace relate? How have you responded to treatment for PCOS? What has worked for you?

Eager to hear from you.

In other news, my handy dandy scale greeted me with a smile this morning. – 2.6 pounds on day 21. This is progress! Also, I am in ketosis!!! I feel like a zombie, mind you, but I am in ketosis. I slept 11 hours on Friday night, 12 hours Saturday night, nearly passed out at work yesterday (thankfully I sat down just just in time which kept me from fully losing consciousness), and fell asleep as soon as I got home last night (around 6:30pm) sleeping through until 7:30 this morning. Hoping this exhaustion passes soon! *fingers crossed*

I think because I’m so exhausted, I’m going to do an easy workout today. I literally don’t think I have enough energy in me to jog… I felt weak and out of breath after simply walking to class this morning.

This week I…
Ran the C-2-5k program week 1 run 3, week 2 run 1
Pilates for beginner routine Friday, Saturday, and Monday
Went on a hike with friends on Sunday Afternoon

Sorry for the long post… I had a lot on my mind. I hope you’re all doing well!

Alice

Meal Plan Monday – Week two

I have a confession to make. I fully intended on taking a picture of my dinner tonight; I got out a real plate instead of a paper one, I neatly arranged my food on the plate, I even had my camera nearby. When I saw that yummy food and smelled that delicious aroma, however, my salivating mouth couldn’t wait. I take that back, it could have waited, but my mind flew out of my head and I realized only after I took my last bite that I hadn’t taken a picture. Oops! If you are really desperate to see a plate of asparagus and Italian Sausage, just let me know and I’ll (try to) take a picture tomorrow night. =)

Anyways. My process always begins with my smart phone, paper, pen, and nutrition labels. I often have an idea in mind for what I want to prepare, but I like to figure out the nutrition stuff before going to the store to buy a week’s worth of groceries I can’t actually use (this is speaking from experience).

This week’s meals include:

Breakfast
Three eggs with 1 oz cheddar cheese, cooked in 1/2 T butter. 2 cups coffee, 2 T cream each.

1.5g Carbs (ish) I always get differing opinions about eggs
580 Calories
49g Fat

Farm fresh eggs

Lunch

2.5 c Butter Lettuce with 4 oz chicken, 1/2 avocado, 2 oz tomato, 2 oz cucumber, 2 T feta cheese, 1 T olive oil, 1 T red wine vinegar, and Italian seasoning. YUMM. Also, if you have not tried La Croix, stop what you’re doing right now and get your booty to the store to get some! Seriously. It gives you that fizzy sweetness with NO sugar, NO sweeteners, and NO artificial colors. SO YUM

478 Calories
34g Fat
6g Carbs

Dinner
Two Italian chicken sausage links from Aldi (seriously, such a good price for such good sausages!), 3 oz asparagus baked with olive oil, butter, garlic, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning.

480 Calories
41 g Fat
4 g Carbs

*Insert imaginary picture of Alice’s meal before she devoured it*

Total: 1538 Cal, 13 g Carbs, 125 g Fat

What’s on your plate this week? Eating anything delicious? I hope so. =)

Best of luck!!
Alice

Stats Sat – Week one

This week definitely had its ups and downs. On Thursday I was SO HUNGRY all day. My stomach was tearing through my meals, and I ended up eating way more than I should have. I was feeling very discouraged, and assumed I wouldn’t have lost any weight because of this. Two weekends ago I went out of town. I had lost two pounds during that week and was determined to stay on plan, even though on vacation. I did a really good job for the most part. I drank tea which was supposed to be unsweetened, but I’m sure it had some carbs in it (more than I should have had), but that was the only thing in the course of four days which was “off plan.” I came home Monday evening, weighed myself on Tuesday morning, and had gained 3.6 pounds. “Oh, its just water weight.” I said to myself, thinking it would go away in a day or two. No. That weight stayed on. It took me 11 days to get rid of any of it! Today, though, I stepped on the scale and saw the happy face and a ” – 1 lb” notification! Praise the Lord that weight started to budge! I still am not down to the minus two pounds I was two weeks ago, but I’m moving in the right direction.

I have my meals planned already for next week, and am committed to this process.

How did all of you do this week? I hope whether or not the scale said what you were hoping, that you are continuing strongly in your pursuit of health.

Have a GREAT Saturday!

~Alice

Sunshine, Joy, and Dilemmas

What is that bright thing up there in the sky? I think some part of me remembers it from days long since past, but I cannot recall its name. Wait! I think I have it. Its called SUN, 

So, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, folks, I have dearly missed that brilliant ball of light suspended in the heavens. The fact that I am sitting outside writing this post is something of a miracle to me. After suffering through the long, cold, harsh winter for the past 6 months, the joy of being outside is indescribable.

I have a dilemma, though. I was scheduled to work on a total joint replacement at work today. I really enjoy orthopedic surgeries, so this was no problem at all. The only issue was the time it was scheduled. I work an off-shift (10-6:30) so my lunch time is a bit off from the rest of the world’s. My co-workers all get their lunch breaks starting at 11am, whereas I prefer to have mine closer to 1pm. Today’s case was scheduled at, you guessed it, 1pm. I had a choice to make. Do I eat early and risk being hungry far before my shift is over, or do I wait until the case is finished and run the risk of being ravenous during a procedure and increasing my chances of passing out (something I haven’t done since February!!! =) yay me)? I opted to eat early, but was regretting it at around 4pm. The cafeteria does not have a lot of low carb options, but the gift shop has a few things I can eat, so one of my friends and I went down there to grab a snack. Note to self: NEVER GO INTO A HOSPITAL GIFT SHOP HUNGRY! You will, inevitably, buy things you shouldn’t, especially if your friend is buying candy and you’re on your period. *sigh* I ended up purchasing a 1.75 oz pack of Planter’s Peanuts and a bag of Russell Stover’s  Sugar-free Pecan Delights (yes, they were delightful). I didn’t intend to eat all five pieces of candy, but guess what? I ate five pieces of candy AND my peanuts. Rough.

In keeping with my month of honesty, I logged these items into my fatsecret log, only to discover I met my caloric allowance for the day already. Oops! So now I have a dilemma. Do I go over my calories, or do I just suffer the hungry consequences of my little afternoon binge? I guess I’ll wait and see how the evening goes!

 

Delicious doesn’t cut it

I am in LOVE with my dinner option this week. I made up my own chicken cordon bleu recipe and it is TO DIE FOR! Since I am enjoying it so much, I thought I’d share my recipe with you so anyone else who is “low-carbing-it” can share the joy I have with each bite.

Ingredients:

• 5 Chicken breasts
• 5 slices of deli ham (NOT honey ham! Watch out for added sugars!)
• 5 slices swiss cheese
• 1.5 oz pork rinds
• 15g soy flour
• Garlic powder
• Garlic salt
• Salt
• Pepper
• 6 egg yolks
• 3/4 c butter
• 4 T lemon juice
• salt
• white pepper

Preheat oven to 350F

Instructions

Chicken

1. Using a meat mallet/tenderizer, pound chicken breasts until they are roughly 1″ thick and uniform. *Tip* Cover the breast with a piece of plastic wrap before pounding to avoid splattering raw chicken juice all over yourself and the kitchen (it was NOT a pretty site).
2. Take one breast and lay it with the “rough” side up. Lay one piece of ham and one of Swiss cheese on top and roll the breast like a burrito as best you can (the more the meat has been pounded, the easier it will be to roll it up). Be sure to try to keep the ham and cheese snugly tucked within the meat. Place the breast with seam side down into a glass baking dish, Repeat with additional breasts.
3. In a food processor, grind pork rinds until they are the consistency of bread crumbs. Add soy flour and mix until well incorporated. Evenly distribute this “breading” on top of each breast and pat in place. 
4. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and garlic to taste.
5. Bake at 350 for approximately 45 minutes. Due to variations in the size of chicken breasts, I highly recommend using a meat thermometer to ensure the center of each piece reaches 165F before removing from the oven.

Hollandaise Sauce

*The recipe calls for a double boiler. Instead, I use a metal mixing bowl set over a pot of boiling water. Be sure the water level in your pot does not touch the bottom of the bowl if using this method.*

1. Separate 6 eggs, keeping the yolks and placing them in your double boiler/heat resistant bowl.
2. Divide butter into thirds, placing one portion into the container with the egg yolks.
3. Place the yolks and butter on the double boiler and stir continually until the butter is completely melted.
4. Add one more portion of butter and stir until melted and well combined.
5. Add the last portion of butter, stirring until melted.
6. As soon as the butter is melted, remove from heat and continue to stir for an additional 2-3 minutes, or until the mixture begins to thicken.
7. Add lemon juice 1 T at a time, mixing vigorously and continually. 
8. Place sauce back unto the heat for an additional 2-3 minutes, or until the mixture thickens. Stir constantly to avoid curdling.
9. Remove from heat. Add salt and white pepper to taste.

Serving suggestions

I steamed asparagus to pair with this chicken. I put a bed of asparagus down, place a chicken breast on top, and spoon hollandaise sauce over the entire thing. SO DELICIOUS!

I hope you enjoy!

 

Good News!

So, I planned my meals out for this week without calculating calories. After I entered it all into my fatsecret log, I was disappointed to see the calories at just over 1700. It was too late to change things since all my food was made, but I was bummed the count wasn’t lower. Well, late last night, after I entered my totals for the day, I noticed a mistake in my data entry! My calories are really only 1591! As I’m trying to stay near 1500, this is MUCH better. =) Hooray!

Let the preparations begin!

Every week, either on Saturday or Sunday, I cook and portion out all my meals for the week. I am usually super busy, so if I don’t plan and prepare, I am bound to simply pick up a couple of hotdogs from the gas station each night for dinner (not ideal). The good thing about my tastes and food preferences is that I don’t get bored with eating the same food day after day. I eat the same thing every day for breakfast for a week, and I also choose my “lunch of the week” and “dinner of the week.” This is also really good since its just me. Cooking for one can be really tough, so making a normal size recipe and splitting it up into 5-7 portions works out really well for me. Anyways, here are some pictures from my meal prep marathon today. Enjoy!

 

« Breakfast »

2 Eggs and 2oz Pork Sausage

Farm fresh eggs

Calories: 337, Net Carbohydrates: 1

« Lunch »

Calories: 560, Net Carbohydrates 10

Lettuce for my taco lunch this week, in honor of Cinco de Mayo

• Grass-fed ground beef with taco seasoning
• Bibb lettuce leaves (in place of tortillas)
• Sharp cheddar cheese
• Organic sour cream
• Onions
• Guacamole

 

 

 

 

« Dinner »

Calories: 862, Net Carbohydrates: 9

Chicken breasts stuffed with ham and Swiss cheese. The “breading” is 1.5 oz of pork rinds mixed with 15g of soy flour

• Chicken Cordon Bleu
• Steamed asparagus

My very fist attempt at Hollandaise sauce!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The finished product. SO GOOD

Dinner Party Debacle

I think the single hardest thing about dieting is eating at others’ homes. Tonight, I attended the batchelorette party of one of my dearest friends. Dinner was asparagus (good), chicken pop-overs (insides? good, crescent roll outsides? not so much),  and strawberry pretzel salad (really, really not good). This was all followed by chocolate covered strawberries! So, what’s a girl to do?!? Well, in the past, I would probably have A. Not gone or B. Eaten everything on my plate. Tonight, however, was a fairly good night. I ate the asparagus and inside of the pop-over, and only took one tiny bite of the strawberry stuff to be polite. I also ate one strawberry, but made sure it was the smallest one on the plate. The sugar in that probably made my hope of getting into ketosis this week completely out of reach, but I am still OK with how I handled things.

I am currently SUPER tired so I’m gonna end things here. Hope you’re all doing well and sticking with your program!

Day’s stats.

Calories: 1942

Fat: 140

Carbohydrates: 38

Protein: 128

It’s MAY!

If you live in the north, as I do, then you can understand how happy I am spring is finally here. We had a BRUTAL winter which seemed like it would last forever! Now, I love going outside (even if it’s raining) to see the GREEN grass and happy yellow daffodils smiling up at me. This is a huge improvement over the constant white I’ve seen for the past six months.

With the start of a new month, I have started to think of new goals. My main goal for the month is honesty. I can follow diets really well, if I do say so myself. When I am really committed, I count every bite and every ounce of caloric food and beverages that pass over my lips. When I slip up, however, I try to ignore my “failure” and try desperately to avoid knowing how many carbs and calories I’ve consumed. I have been using fat secret to monitor my eating, and my goal is to enter EVERYTHING I eat; the good, bad, and the ugly. Take today, for instance. I was hungry. For so long I have abused my body by starving it to remain in my ideal calorie range. I remember countless nights chugging water or crystal light to trick my stomach into thinking it was full, too hungry to sleep. I recall evenings eating nothing but pickles because I didn’t want to tip the count into the 1300 calorie bracket. I have been so unkind to my body, in so many ways, over so many years.

« I want to be done »

I want to be kind to my body, and  listen to its needs. Today, I was hungry. Today, I ate.  Today, I entered each bite into the counter, peacefully (prayerfully)  watching the total rise to nearly 2000 calories. Today, I chose to be honest and not hide the fact it wasn’t my best day. Today, I achieved a small victory. Today was a good day.

New look

I decided it was time to update my look… well, at least my  blog’s look. I kept a hint at the old “Alice in Wonderland” (oneder-land) theme, but revamped the rest for a new, fresh appearance. What do ya think?

In other news, I stayed up WAY too late last night. Looking at the clock just now, I realize it is already getting really late again tonight, yet here I sit, laptop in lap, avoiding the very thing I need to do… SLEEP! Oh well, I’ll get there eventually. The reason I stayed up so late last night is that I got caught up in a documentary about anorexia. I decided to watch it for a few reasons. One, I have a young girl in my life who has been battling anorexia. She is on the road to health, and I am extremely proud of her, but I would love to understand more of what shes been going through. Two, I myself have battled with a generalized unhealthy relationship with food and my body. I see so much of myself in the women on the program. Some of the words that came out of their mouths have come out of my own.  As I watch them and listen to them, my heart breaks and I begin questioning why I am sitting here and not in a treatment facility. That is where I have to take a back seat, and give God all the glory.

I am in the middle of reading Extravagant Grace by Barbara Duguid. This book is challenging and encouraging, and I highly recommend you read it. One of the main themes is that I am as Holy, as sinless, as “far along” in my faith as the Father desires. I don’t have to worry or feel guilty I am not better than I am or that I am still such a deplorable sinner. Barbara uses the illustration that we are like Barbie Dolls with deformed feet which prevent us from standing on our own. Our faithful God upholds us and guides us through life, enabling us to behave righteously and grow in fruitfulness.  Also, we must realize sinlessness is not our goal here on earth. God often withholds His supporting hand and allows us to fall, but not from cruelty. Our true purpose in this life is to learn humility at the knowledge of our sinfulness and depravity, and to respond with love, awe, and dependence on Him as we see His grace continue to be our supply. We cannot sin in areas where God is holding us up and preventing us from doing so, and we cannot obey without that same hand giving us the power. As I sat there last night watching these women purging with ease, I was struck by a thought so deep and humbling. God alone spared me from that fate. He was firmly holding up my sickly deformed, Barbie footed, sin ravished self with His loving hand. He did not ordain that particular sin be the sculpting tool in my life, even though I was running headlong toward it. When I was in junior high I tried to make myself throw up on multiple occasions. I would shove my finger down my throat for what seemed like hours. I could not, however, produce any vomit. Even though I have a very sensitive gag reflex, even though I throw up on my own several times a year, even though I looked up tips and tricks for purging, I simply could not throw up. Looking back, I believe God himself was holding my stomach contents inside me. I was as if my sovereign Lord was saying, “No, this you may not do. In your own weakness and sinfulness you are running toward this with all your might, but I am your God and I will hold you up, no matter how hard you fight me.” At the time, this made me bitter and angry. I wanted to be thin more than I wanted to breathe, but no matter how hard I tried, I simply could not purge. I was also unable to starve myself, which caused me to feel even worse about myself than before, adding the word “failure” to my identity on top of, “fat, worthless, and unlovable.”

The only reason I am not sick with anorexia or bulimia is because of the in-working of my lovely, lovely Jesus. I may not be happy I am overweight, but I am happy and filled with thankfulness when I see the alternative had God given me my way those many years ago.