Discouragement, encouragement, and Workout Wednesday – Week 2

I had a follow-up appointment with my endocrinologist Monday morning, and like usual, it was a disappointing waste of my $35 co-pay. I keep gaining weight (as you all know) even though my diet hasn’t been horrible. Losing weight is a huge, let me repeat HUGE struggle. I eat right, workout, and do all the “right things,” yet my weight has been stuck at this point for a year. My symptoms have been getting worse: irregular periods, my hair falling out, hair growing in places it shouldn’t, etc. Last summer my Dr. put me on birth control to see if that would help. I ended up gaining 15 pounds in 3 months, never had my period the week I wasn’t taking the pill, bled almost constantly the other three weeks, and felt altogether miserable. Those 15 pounds I gained have yet to come off. Every time I have tried, I lose only a few pounds before hitting a plateau. I then give up and gain those pounds back.  I’m stuck in the cycle of, “Are my symptoms worse because of my weight, or is my weight another symptom of the PCOS not responding to treatment.”

My doctor wants me to go on a Protein Sparing Modified Fast (PSMF) and check back in after three months. I was asking her what difference meal replacements would do at this point, since I’ve been doing well monitoring my calorie and carb intake on my own. The simple answer is, she doesn’t believe I’ve been eating low carb. She specifically said, “low carb means no toast, no potatoes, no…” at which point I said, “fruit, corn, carrots, rice, beans, etc.” I told her I know all that. I don’t eat carbs and I’m not losing weight. I told her how difficult it is for my body to go into ketosis, to the point that I become a zombie for a few days before my body decides it might try burning fat for fuel, and that if I don’t eat enough fat, my sweat smells strongly of ammonia, a sign that I’m breaking down my muscle for fuel. She basically said that sounds very unusual so she wants me to do the PSMF just to be sure I’m not cheating. (bleck).

Her aim is for me to lose 20 pounds.

I would LOVE to lose 20 pounds.

Heck, I would love to lose 5 pounds!

*frustrated stomping around because of a naturally skinny doctor who has no idea how hard losing weight actually is*

Can any of you out there in cyberspace relate? How have you responded to treatment for PCOS? What has worked for you?

Eager to hear from you.

In other news, my handy dandy scale greeted me with a smile this morning. – 2.6 pounds on day 21. This is progress! Also, I am in ketosis!!! I feel like a zombie, mind you, but I am in ketosis. I slept 11 hours on Friday night, 12 hours Saturday night, nearly passed out at work yesterday (thankfully I sat down just just in time which kept me from fully losing consciousness), and fell asleep as soon as I got home last night (around 6:30pm) sleeping through until 7:30 this morning. Hoping this exhaustion passes soon! *fingers crossed*

I think because I’m so exhausted, I’m going to do an easy workout today. I literally don’t think I have enough energy in me to jog… I felt weak and out of breath after simply walking to class this morning.

This week I…
Ran the C-2-5k program week 1 run 3, week 2 run 1
Pilates for beginner routine Friday, Saturday, and Monday
Went on a hike with friends on Sunday Afternoon

Sorry for the long post… I had a lot on my mind. I hope you’re all doing well!

Alice

Meal Plan Monday – Week two

I have a confession to make. I fully intended on taking a picture of my dinner tonight; I got out a real plate instead of a paper one, I neatly arranged my food on the plate, I even had my camera nearby. When I saw that yummy food and smelled that delicious aroma, however, my salivating mouth couldn’t wait. I take that back, it could have waited, but my mind flew out of my head and I realized only after I took my last bite that I hadn’t taken a picture. Oops! If you are really desperate to see a plate of asparagus and Italian Sausage, just let me know and I’ll (try to) take a picture tomorrow night. =)

Anyways. My process always begins with my smart phone, paper, pen, and nutrition labels. I often have an idea in mind for what I want to prepare, but I like to figure out the nutrition stuff before going to the store to buy a week’s worth of groceries I can’t actually use (this is speaking from experience).

This week’s meals include:

Breakfast
Three eggs with 1 oz cheddar cheese, cooked in 1/2 T butter. 2 cups coffee, 2 T cream each.

1.5g Carbs (ish) I always get differing opinions about eggs
580 Calories
49g Fat

Farm fresh eggs

Lunch

2.5 c Butter Lettuce with 4 oz chicken, 1/2 avocado, 2 oz tomato, 2 oz cucumber, 2 T feta cheese, 1 T olive oil, 1 T red wine vinegar, and Italian seasoning. YUMM. Also, if you have not tried La Croix, stop what you’re doing right now and get your booty to the store to get some! Seriously. It gives you that fizzy sweetness with NO sugar, NO sweeteners, and NO artificial colors. SO YUM

478 Calories
34g Fat
6g Carbs

Dinner
Two Italian chicken sausage links from Aldi (seriously, such a good price for such good sausages!), 3 oz asparagus baked with olive oil, butter, garlic, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning.

480 Calories
41 g Fat
4 g Carbs

*Insert imaginary picture of Alice’s meal before she devoured it*

Total: 1538 Cal, 13 g Carbs, 125 g Fat

What’s on your plate this week? Eating anything delicious? I hope so. =)

Best of luck!!
Alice

Sabbath

Today is my Sabbath day, a time to recharge, refocus my heart on the Lord, and relax. I’m not sure what’s going on with me, but I’ve been EXHAUSTED. I slept ten hours last night and still felt like a train hit me. I have an appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow morning for a follow up on my medications, symptoms, etc associated with my PCOS. I’m going to talk to her about my lethargy… hopefully she has done suggestions.

Despite feeling gross and arriving late to church, today wasn’t a bad day. After church my friends and I had a picnic and went for a walk before going to see Inside Out in theaters. Though the movie was good and my lunchtime activities fun, I can’t home feeling incredibly tired, headache-y and (to put it kindly) grumpy. I figured out too late I was hangry, (hungry/angry) and already pretty much ruined my evening.

I decided to make myself a treat for dinner. There is a distinct difference between a treat and a cheat… I odd for the treat. Now there is one thing you must know about me… I LOVE Mexican food. I decided to make a fish taco Mexican pizza. For the life of me I can’t figure out which blog I got this tortilla recipe from, but can I just say THANK YOU! Here is the link to the original. I took one tortilla, spread it with sugar free salsa, cheddar cheese, avocado, and grilled fish. I took another tortilla and placed it on top with a bit more salsa, tomato, chives, and cheese. I also sprinkled it with a bit of taco seasoning before pooping out into the oven to melt into the gooey deliciousness it was. Yummmm…

Anyways, though high in calories, this is just what I needed for my day. How are all you doing? From my blog reading it seems some of us have had a bad week =( Keep getting back on that horse, guys, you’ve never made too big a diet mistake to recover from.

Peace,

Alice

1.  

Stats Sat – Week one

This week definitely had its ups and downs. On Thursday I was SO HUNGRY all day. My stomach was tearing through my meals, and I ended up eating way more than I should have. I was feeling very discouraged, and assumed I wouldn’t have lost any weight because of this. Two weekends ago I went out of town. I had lost two pounds during that week and was determined to stay on plan, even though on vacation. I did a really good job for the most part. I drank tea which was supposed to be unsweetened, but I’m sure it had some carbs in it (more than I should have had), but that was the only thing in the course of four days which was “off plan.” I came home Monday evening, weighed myself on Tuesday morning, and had gained 3.6 pounds. “Oh, its just water weight.” I said to myself, thinking it would go away in a day or two. No. That weight stayed on. It took me 11 days to get rid of any of it! Today, though, I stepped on the scale and saw the happy face and a ” – 1 lb” notification! Praise the Lord that weight started to budge! I still am not down to the minus two pounds I was two weeks ago, but I’m moving in the right direction.

I have my meals planned already for next week, and am committed to this process.

How did all of you do this week? I hope whether or not the scale said what you were hoping, that you are continuing strongly in your pursuit of health.

Have a GREAT Saturday!

~Alice

Workout Wednesday – Week one

Hello all!

I hope you’re doing well, eating smartly, and pursuing health. This week has been going smoothly for me so far. I stuck to my eating plan on Monday and Tuesday. Today is my mom’s birthday so she, my grandmother, aunt, cousin, and I went out for lunch. At first I was dreading eating something I hadn’t prepared. I didn’t want to go out with them at all because of this, and once deciding to go, I nearly brought my own meal with me! I stopped my thoughts where they were at this point and began to speak truth into the situation.

My mom is more important. Not having weighed and measured this meal is not going to kill me. I can, and will, choose the smartest option on the menu and calculate it into my totals for the day. 

So I went. And, I had a good time! I ended up getting an omelet with chorizo sausage, cheese, onions, and chili peppers. Very yumm.

I checked myself with a keto-stick today which showed trace amounts of ketone bodies. Oh well. I shall keep going and will hopefully show more significant ketosis in a few days.

As for working out, I thought I would post my weekly stats each Wednesday to keep track of my progress. I am doing the Couch-to-5k plan for the third year in a row. Year one I could not even complete the first level workout, even after weeks of trying. Last year I think I made it up to week 5? This year I am hoping to complete the entire program. I am really encouraged that even after not running for almost a year, I am stilll in better shape than I was two years ago (even though I was close to my thinnest).

Here are my stats, as well as a post-workout-selfie from each day:

I also have been doing pilates. I must say. I LOVE PILATES! I found this really amazing site for lessons, too. http://www.happyhourmama.com/ has some great videos for beginners. She really focuses on proper technique and simple exercises. I can really feel my muscles working places I don’t usually feel. SO GOOD.

What are you doing for exercise lately? Any success stories or products/videos you like? I’m eager to hear!

-Alice

Meal Plan Monday – week one

I am blessed in the sense that I don’t mind eating the same thing every day for several days in a row. This makes meal planning super simple. I will prep, weigh, cook, and measure all my meals for the week on Sunday afternoon so I don’t have to think about what to eat when I’m hungry. Here is a look at this week’s meals.

Breakfast

1/2 c cottage cheese

2 oz strawberries

Coffee with heavy cream

Lunch

Burger made with 100% grass fed beef, sharp cheddar cheese, fresh-from-my-garden-lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, mayo, and mustard

Fresh broccoli and cauliflower with dill dip

Dinner

Feta cheese chicken sausage

Mild Italian chicken sausage

Sugar-free raspberry Jell-O cup with a dollop of whipped cream

What’s on your plate this week? I’d love to hear about your recipes and see your pictures!

Ready, set…

The past few years have come with a lot of ups and downs, both in life and my weight. In 2010 I lost around 30 pounds. In 2011 I gained ten back. In 2012 I lost an additional 40 pounds. Over the past 2.5 years I’ve gained about 30 of those pounds back. Simply typing those two numbers: 3 – 0 is difficult. On one hand I can be really hard on myself and filled with regret. If I’m honest, however, I must admit my inner person has grown in ways it otherwise would never have been able to. I’ve learned things about myself, both good and bad, and had to become comfortable in my skin, no matter the size.

Even though gaining this weight has accomplished some good things, I’m ready to lose it again. For a number of reasons I am unable to follow the plan I did previously (all Atkins meal bars and shakes). I have developed an adverse reaction to sucralose, the primary sweetener in all those products, and will get a horrible migraine with even the smallest bit. Emotionally, too, I feel I would be unable to follow that restrictive of a plan. I am not sure I would be able to receive an eating disorder diagnosis, but I will admit my mentality became more and more toxic the more weight I lost. Towards the end of my diet, I was consuming roughly 600 calories per day, taking laxatives if I ate too much, and weighing myself multiple times per day. I would wake up – weigh myself, use the bathroom – weigh myself, eat breakfast – weigh myself, get home from work in the evening – weigh myself, eat dinner – weigh myself, and weigh again before bed. When I began eating again, I was terrified. I didn’t want to eat, but also didn’t want to be a slave to my diet. I started working out, but was so stressed and obsessed about gaining weight that I became my own worst enemy.

Over the past few years I have been learning moderation. Eating food is ok, but binge eating is not. Dieting is fine, but restricting and taking laxatives is not. Stepping is on  the scale is fine, but doing so multiple times per day is destructive. I feel I am now ready to try again. I am eating a low-carb diet of REAL food, no meal replacements. I am weighing myself once per day on this genius scale I bought which only lets you weigh once a day and doesn’t show you your weight, but rather pounds lost (no more starving to hit a certain three digit number). I am also going to be blogging more to help keep me accountable.

For my followers both new and old, I hope you join me on this journey to be healthy mentally, spiritually, and physically.

God bless!

Alice

Bad day

I’ve been having a bad day. Make that a bad week. I don’t feel well mentally or physically, I am hungry as all get out, I feel stressed, restless, and impatient about many things, today I overslept and was late to work which delayed a surgery, I have had a throbbing headache… and my eating has reflected that. Its funny how our emotional and physical state can have such an impact on our eating. Being tired makes me want to eat (don’t ask me why) so I’ve eaten a lot this week. I was also feeling really defeated. On Sunday I put on a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in a few weeks. They have been uncomfortably snug for the past few months, but I thought after 4 weeks of dieting they may be a bit looser. They felt NO different whatsoever which really discouraged me. When I feel defeated and discouraged by my weight, it makes me want to just give up and eat my heart out. I resisted the urge to go get myself a Blizzard or Mexican pizza from Taco Bell (which both sounded SO good at the moment) but I still didn’t feel satisfied or happy with myself. I still really discouraged, even more so because my numbers have not been ideal this week. I know I need to be patient and not get hung up on the little details of life, but that doesn’t change my feelings.

Anyways, to catch up where I’ve been slacking the past few days.

My Meals:

Breakfast — 2 Eggs, 2 oz sausage

Lunch — Sugar-free Barbecue Pork, coleslaw

Dinner — Stuffed pepper, salad w/ light ranch.

Try on Tuesday:

I will try to update that page later tonight, so check back later to see if I uploaded this week’s picture (I’m not on my own computer at the moment)

 

Bad Days

I have had a bad past two days. I have eaten the entire quart of carb smart ice cream since Saturday night. I am not proud, but I am continuing on with my month of honesty. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to be better.

Saturday Sweets

I am so proud of myself. Last night and all day today, I was surrounded by sweet things I love. I was baking pineapple upside down cake and cherry chocolate cake (can anyone say yum?). I didn’t even lick a finger the entire time! Even when my fingers were covered in the delicious combination of butter and brown sugar, I didn’t even have one taste. Then, while I was serving the hundreds of pieces of cake, all while being incredibly stressed and hungry, I didn’t snitch even a taste. *Celebratory Dance* After all that hard work and self control, I wanted a sweet treat I could responsibly enjoy. I ended up with some sugar free chocolate and some Carb-smart ice cream. =)

 

All in all I ended up with 2283 calories and 36 net carbs.

 

How did you all do today? Did you stay within your goals?